Recollection
by Shadow's Vale
Summary: Lost and Disoriented, Olivia Benson finds her way to the one place she can trust, even if she doesn't know where she is. Can her partner help her put the pieces back together and restore her memory? What will it cost him? Rated M for chapter eight.
1. Lost

The lights were blinding. The rain felt like ice on her skin. The wind made her bones hurt. She didn't know where she was going, but she was certain she was going the right way. Cars flew passed her so fast, they seemed like shooting stars. Walking, she kept looking for something familiar. Something that she recognized. She walked under an overpass, the dark cloaking her again. A light shone in the distance. She knew she must reach it, although she didn't know why. A car flew passed her, soaking her completely when it hit the water. She shivered as the cold wind blew. Her skin turned to ice. As she neared the light, a door came into view. She shivered up the steps. This was where she was supposed to be, even though she had no idea where she was. She rang the doorbell. After three rings, a man opened the door.

"Olivia?" his voice said. She simply stared at him.


	2. And Found

**AN: I hope you all like this story. I'm not sure how good it's turning out. I haven't written in over a year, so I might be a little rusty at first. Hang in there. I'll try to keep improving as the chapters go.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or the blah blah blah , you know the rest.**

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Elliot looked outside as Olivia stood on his porch, soaking wet.

"Come in. You must be freezing. What the hell are you doing here at this hour?"

She just looked at him. Elliot stared back. She looked off.

"Liv? You ok?"

Suddenly Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck and began to sob. Elliot, confused, wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"It's ok. Your going to be ok." Elliot looked up to see Kathy coming down the stairs.

"Is she ok?" Kathy asked. Concern laced her voice. Elliot just shrugged. Olivia continued to sob into Elliot's neck. Kathy walked up and put her hand gently on Olivia's back.

"Olivia, would you like to change? You must be freezing. Come on. I've got some extra PJ's you can borrow."

Olivia looked up, still crying a little. Her eyes were blood red. Olivia let Kathy guide her upstairs. Elliot's alarms ere at full blast. Something wasn't right. Olivia never cried like that. Hell, she hardly cried at all. he walked up the stairs. Kathy was standing outside the bathroom door, waiting on Olivia to get changed.

"I'll make up the couch for her." Elliot said. Kathy nodded. She turned to look at the door.

"I've never known Olivia to break down. What do you think could have happened to her?"

Elliot didn't like what came to his mind. With what he did for a living, there were multiple horrid images coming to mind.

"I don't know. Let's just hope she'll be ok."

Olivia walked out of the bathroom. Because Olivia was a little smaller than Kathy, the PJ"s were a little big on her, but at least she was dry.

"El, you take her downstairs. I'll get her clothes into the dryer." Elliot nodded.

He put his hand on the lower part of her back and guided her downstairs and to the couch.

"Stay here. I'm going to get you some bedding, Ok?" Olivia just stared at him. Elliot sighed quietly and went back upstairs.

He went to the linen closet. First he grabbed a pillow from the bottom. Next, he grabbed a pillow case with pink and yellow roses on it. He put the pillow case on the pillow. Kathy came up behind him.

"She say anything yet?"

Elliot shook his head. "No not yet. She seems off. Like she doesn't know us or even herself. She doesn't respond to her name, Kath. What the hell happened?"

Kathy kissed Elliot's shoulder. "I wish I knew."

Elliot grabbed the matching top sheet to the pillow case. "Do we still have the comforter to this set?"

"No." Kathy said. "Dickie accidently set it on fire a couple of years ago, remember?"

Elliot looked up at the celing. "Oh, yeah." he said. "Now, I remember."

"It doesn't really matter if it matches or not. Just as long as Olivia has bedding."

Elliot looked at Kathy. "Yeah, I know. I just thought it's be nice for her is all."

Kathy gave a small smile. "I know."

Elliot grabbed a blue comforter. He took all the stuff downstairs. Olivia was curled up in a ball.

"Here, I brought you some stuff." He guided Olivia off the couch for a few minutes while he made up the couch for her. She watched him with arms crossed, protectively, across her chest. Once the bed was made up, Elliot helped Olivia into her bed for the night. He tucked her in. She closed her eyes and curled up into a ball. It wasn't long before she drifted into sleep. Once Elliot was sure she was asleep, he headed up to bed.

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The next morning, Elliot and Kathy got up. Heading downstairs, they noticed Olivia still sound asleep on the couch. Eliiot smiled at her.

"She looks so peaceful, which is a comfort considering the way she was last night."

Kathy just gave a small smile. Elliot offered to make breakfast for Kathy before work.

"I might be getting home late tonight" she said." The hospital is going to be short handed."

"Ok. Be safe." Elliot said, giving Kathy a quick kiss before she left.

Elliot decided to make Olivia a plate so she could eat when she got up. Since Dickie and Lizzie were staying with friends until Wednesday and Eli was at his grandmother's, the house was especially empty. After about ten minutes, Olivia began to stir. Elliot went back to the kitchen to heat up her plate. As Elliot was setting the time on the microwave, he suddenly heard a voice behind him.

"Olivia?" she said.

Elilot turned around and saw Olivia standing there. "My name's Olivia?" she asked.

Elliot smiled. "Yes, it is."

Olivia nodded. "Well, do I have a last name?"

Elliot laughed a little. "Yeah, of course. It's Benson."

"Benson. So my name's Olivia Benson?"

"Yes." Elliot handed out her plate. "Here, eat something. You'll need the strength."

Olivia nodded and sat at the table. She took the plate and Elliot gave her some silverware. Elliot sat next to her.

"So what do I call you?" She asked.

"Elliot. Elliot Stabler."

"Who's the blonde woman?"

"Kathy Stabler."

"Your wife I presume."

Elliot nodded.

"What about me? Am I you sister or what?"

Elliot looked confused. 'Um. Your my partner at work and my best friend. What made you think you were my sister?"

Olivia shrugged. "You seemed concerned about me, but if I'm your best friend, that would explain why."

Elliot nodded. "I see."

"Ok, am I married? Kids?"

Elliot shook his head. "No." He wondered if it was good for her to be filling her head with so much information so fast. "I'm going to call a friend of ours. He's a doctor. He'll help us find you memory, Ok?"

Olivia nodded. Elliot picked up the phone and called Huang.

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Huand said if she was asking questions, go ahead and answer them, but don't force the information down her throat.

"She's gotta recover her memory at her own pace. Trying to force it will more than likely hurt her more than help her."

"Ok. Thanks, Doc."

"Anytime Elliot. And by the way, if she wants, you CAN walk her through he past, but only when she wants and at the pace she chooses, ok?"

"Ok. Thanks."

Elliot hung up the phone.

"What did he say?" Olivia asked.

"He said we could walk you through your past, but only if your up to it, and if you want to stop at anytime, just let me know and we'll stop, ok?"

Olivia nodded. "Ok."

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**I hope you like this story so far.**

**If you read, please review.**


	3. A Walk In Her Shoes

**AN: Ok. Now I know this chapter is a little shorter than Chapter Two was, but this Chapter didn't really need to be as long. My boyfriend deserves some credit for this story since he's been giving me his opinion on it as I write.**

**Now, I mention Mercy as the hospital from "Paternity". I'm hoping that's right. If not, try to pretend it is. LOL**

**There is a LOT of talking in this chapter. At least, it seems like it anyways.**

**Disclaimer: No matter how much of a good little girl I am, Santa still won't give Benson to me for Christmas. :(**

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Later that day, Elliot and Olivia were in Elliot's car, driving around Manhattan.

"Where do you want to go first?"

Olivia shrugged. "Hell if I know, I don't know where I've been."

"Ok. Is it ok if I pick?"

"Sure."

Elliot makes a left at the light. He drives for a while then stops outside a wherehouse. Olivia looked confused.

"Where are we?"

"Somewhere significant." he said. "Follow me."

He took her hand and guided her inside. After a few minutes, they were in the same place they had been three years ago, when Victor Paul Gitano nearly killed Elliot, right in front of Olivia.

"Do you remember the day Gitano tried to make you chose me or the job?"

Olivia squinted slightly. She looked around. "I don't think so, but this place does seem familiar."

Elliot nodded. "Ok. That's a start. Come on, I've got another place for us to go."

He guided her out of the wherehouse, still holding her hand. They got back into the car. He drove.

"So if I had to chose between my job and you, what did I chose?" Olivia asked.

Elliot just sat there for a moment. "You didn't have to. A sniper got him before you could make your choice."

Olivia looked at him confused. "What exactly is it we do?"

"We're cops. We investigate sex crimes."

"Like rape?"

"Yes. Among other things."

Olivia cocked her head. "Well, if we're cops, shouldn't we be at work?"

"Well, I'm off today, and I've already talked to the Captain about giving you some vacation time in order to get your memory back."

"Could we go by there? Just for a minute?"

Elliot nodded. "Ok. If you want." He changed his course.

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He pulled up to the precinct. He got out of the car, took her hand, and walked her in. Once they got off the elevator, Elliot told Olivia to wait just outside the room. Elliot went inside alone for a moment.

"Hey man. Whatcha doin here on your day off?" Fin asked.

"Olivia wanted to come here, but don't push her. Huang said it could hurt her more than help."

"Ok. No problem." Fin said.

Elliot went back to get Olivia. He guided her into the room.

"Hi, Olivia." Munch said. "How are you feeling?"

"Ok." She looked around the room. "So where do I sit?"

"Right here." Cragen said, coming into the room. He put his hand on her chair.

Olivia nodded. She looked around more as she walked. She saw pictures of a recent crime scene. She became uneasy. "Elliot, I want to go now."

He nodded. "Ok." He took her hand.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, once they were out of the room.

"It's ok. Maybe it was too soon to introduce you to work just yet. We'll come back when your ready."

Olivia nodded. They got back into Elliot's car.

"Do you want to go back the house, or do you want me to take you to more places?"

"Take me other places. Just not back in there."

"Ok." Elliot headed back to where he was headed earlier.

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They pulled up to Mercy Hospital.

"A hospital? Why here?"

"You'll see. Hopefully." Elliot said.

Again he took her hand, and lead her into the hospital. They went to the maternity ward.

"Stand here." Elliot said.

"Ok."

"Do you remember this place?"

Olivia thought. "I feel a sense of security." She smiled. "What happened here?"

Elliot smiled back. "This is where you were the day Kathy gave birth to Eli?"

"Eli? I didn't know you had a baby?"

"Yeah. Eli's staying with Kathy's mom. She wants to spend time with him, so Kathy took him up there."

"Oh. So I feel safe because Kathy had a baby?" Olivia asked, rasing an eyebrow.

"It may be when I hugged you and let you know everything was ok. You were pretty shaken."

"I was? Why?"

"The car accident that sent Kathy into labor."

"Oh, Wow!" Her eyes widened. "So you make me feel safe then?"

"I guess. I think that's something only you would know."

Olivia nodded. Elliot couldn't help but feel a little happy. Olivia must feel safe around him.

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For the next few days, Elliot, Munch, Fin, Cragen, and Warner took turns taking Olivia places and answering her questions. Although Olivia knew more about her and her life, she couldn't actually remember them. Elliot spent the most time with her, which was annoying Kathy.

"El, you don't have to spend all your free time with her. Everyone else is working with her too. There's no reason you can't come home and spend time with us."

Elliot sighed. "I know, Kath, but she's my partner. She's practically family to me too. I have to do all I can to help her."

"And what about us, Elliot?"

Elliot sighed. "Kathy, please don't do this. Don't act like I don't care about you. I do, but Olivia needs me. Besides, I don't spend ALL of my free time with her."

"More or less, you do. Lately, the reason you've been late getting home isn't because of a case. It's been because you spent a few hours with Olivia before coming home."

Elliot just sighed again and said. "Let's talk about this later." He rolled over and tried to get some sleep.

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Elliot woke up at 2 A.M. Kathy was sleeping. He got up, trying not to wake her. He went downstairs. He couldn't sleep. Kathy was upset, but he couldn't just abandon Olivia. She was important too, but he didn't want to upset Kathy. He didn't know what he was going to do.

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**Ok. I hope everyone is enjoying this story, cuz I'm enjoying writing it.**

**If you read, please review.**


	4. First Memory

**AN: Ok. Chapter Four is longer than Chapter Three, thank goodness.**

**I really hope everyone is enjoying this story. For anyone who is reading it, feel free to review. Constructive criticism is always welcome.**

**Disclaimer: Nope. Still Benson-less.**

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A week had passed and Olivia still couldn't remember anything on her own. Elliot purposely left out her being the product of her mother's rape, but he wasn't sure what to do. He was contemplating on weather or not to tell her. He asked Huang.

"Try starting with something smaller and simpler."

"Such as?" Elliot asked.

"Walk her through her morning routine. Something like that, something she does everyday, will be more ingrained into her memory. You might spark something."

Elliot nodded. "Ok. I'll try that."

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Elliot got into his car. As he was pulling out of the parking lot, his cell phone rang. It was Kathy. Elliot sighed, knowing exactly what she was calling for. He picked up the phone.

"Stabler." He said.

"El, you know it's me. When are you coming home?"

"Late." Elliot said. "I've got to go see about a warrant on a case, and after that I'm going by Olivia's, then...."

"Again?" Kathy interrupted. "Didn't you go by to see her this morning?"

"Yes, but...."

"The why are you going to see her again? She not a child, Elliot. She's capable of taking care of herself."

"Kath, she doesn't even remember who she is. She only knows what we've told her."

Kathy sighed. "I meant that she can, for the most part, take care of her basic needs. You don't have to be there all the time."

"I'm not there all the time!" Elliot said, defensively.

"What time have you been getting home this past week? 12 A.M. Why? Because you were at Olivia's. Why exactly have you been leaving early in the morning? To stop by Olivia's before work. Face it, Elliot, Olivia's become more important to you than your own family."

Elliot couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Don't start this Kathy. You know that's not true."

"Do I? Even now your telling me your going to be late because you going by Olivia's first." Before Elliot could respond, Kathy continued. "By the way, the couch will be mad up for you tonight whenever it is you come home."

Elliot heard the line go dead. He hung up his phone and continued down the road.

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When Elliot got home that night, the couch was all made up, just like Kathy said it would be. Elliot sighed. He stripped down to his boxers and climbed onto the couch. He curled up and tried to get some sleep.

_Elliot was walking down an empty road. He was running out of time. He had to find her. He quickened his pace until he broke out into a run. Finally he reached the building._

_"Olivia!" He called out._

_A masked man blocked the door leading to Olivia. She was behind that door, Elliot knew it. He just had to get passed the masked man. Elliot reached for his gun...._

The alarm clock on Elliot's watch blared. Elliot's body jumped at the sudden offensive sound. He rubbed his eyes and reached over and shut the alarm off. He slowly got up and stumbled towards the shower. Standing there, he relished in the hot water as it hit his skin. After his shower, Elliot got dressed. He noticed Kathy's keys were gone, which meant she was already at work. He grabbed his keys, got into his car, and started towards Olivia's.

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He knocked on the door of Apartment E8. After two knocks, Olivia opened her door.

"Hi, Elliot." She said with a smile.

"Hi." Elliot said, smiling back. Olivia let him in.

"I came over to see if you wanted to work more on your memory."

Olivia nodded. "What did you have in mind?"

"Well, Huang said that I should walk you through your daily routine. See if it sparks anything."

"Ok." Olivia said. "Where do we start?"

Elliot walked towards her bedroom. "Well, let's start with you getting up out of bed, and go from there. Sound good?"

Olivia nodded. She sat on the bed and laid back.

Elliot laughed. "You could have just sat there and pretended to get up."

Olivia laughed. "Yeah, but it's much more fun this way."

Elliot shrugged. "Ok. First you get out of bed."

Olivia sat up and swung her feet around to stand up.

"Ok. Nest you head to the bathroom to brush your teeth and take a shower."

Olivia walked to the bathroom. "Ok. Now what?"

'You head to the kitchen to make coffee."

"Naked?" Olivia asked, jokingly.

Elliot rolled his eyes. "No. Not naked."

"Ok. Just checking." Olivia said, half-laughing.

Elliot was happy to hear her laugh. "While your coffee's brewing, you double check your gear to make sure it's all there and ready,"

'Ok."

"Once the coffee is done, you make sure your gun is loaded. You keep it in the desk over here."

"Actually, I moved it a few weeks ago. It's in the kitchen cabinet."

Elliot looked at her. "What did you say?"

Olivia looked confused. "I said I moved my gun. That desk drawer sticks. I want to be able to reach my gun if I should ever need it."

Elliot's face broke out in a grin. "Do you know what you just did?"

Olivia raised an eyebrow.

"You remembered something on your own."

Olivia's eyes widened. "I did." Her mouth opened, the she broke out into a grin too.

"Let's go out to eat to celebrate. We'll go to Archy's. How's that sound?"

"Great." Olivia said.

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Back at the precinct, Munch and Fin were working on their ever growing paperwork pile.

"Man, I can't wait till Benson gets her memory back. Then she can help us do all this paperwork." Munch said, bitterly.

Fin looked at him. "Have some compassion. We have no idea what she's been through."

"And apparently, neither does she." Fin glared at him. "Ok. Ok. I'm sorry. I'm just cranky. I haven't been getting much sleep lately."

They continue working. Suddenly, the phone rings.

"Manhattan Special Victims Unit." Fin says into the receiver.

"Yes, is an Olivia Benson there please?" The voice sounded suspicious.

"No. She's on vacation right now. Can I take a message?"

"No. That's ok. I'll try again later." The person hangs up.

"Who was it?" Munch asked.

"Someone looking for Olivia, but my instincts tell me something was off."

Munch raised an eyebrow. Fin picks up the phone to call Elliot.

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**Ok. Who do you think was calling for Olivia? and why?**

**Chapter Five may be a little longer of a wait, but we'll see.**

**If you read, please review.**


	5. Discovery

**AN: Ok. Chapter Five done! Woo. I actually got it done faster than I thought I was going to. I had to change a few things from what I origanally outlined, but it worked better this way. **

**In this chapter, something happens to Elliot that is important for later, and something almost happens to Olivia that leads into the end of this chapter and the future chapters as well.**

**Disclaimer: "All I want for chrismas is Detective Benson." Even re-writting the words won't bring her to me. :(**

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It had been three days since Elliot received news about the phone call. He was worried and angry at the same time. Elliot was still banished to the couch. He tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable. He sighed. Shifting once again, Elliot was lying on his back. After a few minutes, he drifted off to sleep.

_The masked man still blocked the door. Elliot's hand was on his gun. He pulled it out._

_"Get away from there!" Elliot shouted, pointing his gun at the man, who just stood there._

_Elliot fired twice. The bullets hit the man in his chest. He, however, seemed unharmed. Elliot fired again. This time, the man dodged it. He turned and came after Elliot......_

The alarm blared and Elliot shot up. He rubbed his eyes and groaned. He'd been having this dream every night for the past four nights. Each time, he got a little farther. All the stress of work, plus helping Olivia, and dealing with Kathy was taking a toll on him. He got off the couch, and started getting ready for work.

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At the precinct, the detectives were actually having a light case load.

"Don't you wish everyday was like today?" Munch asked, putting his arms behind his head.

Fin laughed. "Yeah, I wish, but unfortunately for us, rapist don't take very many holidays."

The Captain walked in. "Fin, you got that report on the Perkins case?"

Fin handed him a folder. "All typed, printed, and wrapped, just for you."

Cragen shook his head. The was a knock. "Yes, can I help you?" Cragen asked.

A blonde male, in his teens, was standing in the doorway. "Uh. Yeah." the boy said. "I've got a package for an Olivia Benson"

Cragen stared at him. "Her desk is right there." he said, pointing.

The guy smiled and nodded. "Ok. Thanks." he said, putting the box on her desk. He waved goodbye as he walked out of the room.

Munch eyed the box. "I wonder what it is." He thought aloud.

Cragen stared at it too. "I don't know, but I want that box inspected before Olivia gets anywhere near it."

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Elliot and Olivia were having lunch. The plan for the day was to go through some of Olivia's things and see if anything sparked her memory.

"Do you think it will work?" she asked

Elliot nodded. "I think so, yeah."

Olivia smiled. She had remembered about her gun, her bank account pin number, a memory of her mother, and even her own middle name, which she didn't mention before.

"What IS your middle name?" Elliot had asked.

She didn't want to tell, but she figured she owed him something for helping her. "It's Kathryn." she told him.

He said he liked it, and she said she didn't.

They finished up lunch and headed to Olivia's.

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Once they were back to her place, they began to look through her stuff. Books, clothes, music CD's, DVD's, anything that might spark a memory. Mostly, Olivia couldn't remember anything, but there were a few items that seemed familiar. She held a royal blue dress. It was ankle length, low in the back stopping just above her ass, strap that went around her neck, and a top that fit her breasts and hugged her curves perfectly.

"This dress seems familiar. Do you know where I got this?"

Elliot smiled. "I bought it for you the day you got promoted to Junior Detective."

Olivia blushed. "You saw this and thought of me?" she asked, smiling.

He nodded.

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At the precinct, the squad handed over the box to a specialist. "We'll make this our top priority." the agent said.

Cragen nodded. "Thank you."

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Elliot was looking for more things to spark Olivia's memory. He still couldn't get over seeing Olivia blush. He'd never seen that before. Just as he turned around, Olivia appeared wearing the blue dress. The temperature in the room went up 30 degrees. At least to Elliot, it felt like it. He swallowed hard. "Beautiful"

Olivia smiled. "This dress is amazing, Elliot. Thank you."

"Your more than welcome." he said. Now Elliot was the one blushing.

Olivia picked up her watch, but as she went to put it on, it slipped and slid under the bed.

"Damn it!" she exclaimed.

Elliot got down on his knees. "I can't see it." He felt around the cold hardwood floor. Suddenly, his finger caught something. It was a notch in the floor. Elliot soon discovered it was a secret compartment under her bed. Opening it, he found a lockbox. "Liv? Do you know what's in the lockbox under your bed?"

"Lockbox? No. No idea. Pull it out, let's see if we can open it."

Elliot lifted the box out of the compartment. He placed it on her bed. "Where are your keys?"

"Hold on, I'll get them."

Olivia returned a few seconds later, keys in hand. "Ok. So which key is it?" she asked.

"Well I know these two are for your apartment and locker at work. This one is your car key."

"Not that I drive my car."

Elliot smirked. "Well I don't know what this key goes to." He put it in. It wouldn't turn. "Damn, there aren't anymore keys on here."

"Why don't we check my desk at work. I think I've got a few keys in there."

Elliot nodded. They got into the car and headed to the precinct.

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Munch typed on his keyboard. He wanted to get his report done as soon as possible.

"The Cap back yet?' Fin asked, walking in caring fresh coffee.

"No." Munch said.

Elliot and Olivia were suddenly coming into the room. Without saying a word, they were rummaging through her desk.

"Hello to you too." Munch said, sarcastically.

"Sorry, John, we're looking for something." Elliot said.

Just then the Captain came into the room. He didn't look so happy.

"What's wrong?" Fin asked.

Cragen looked at Olivia. "You doing ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm ok."

"Cap, what's going on?" Elliot asked.

Cragen sighed. "While you were out at lunch, a box came in for Olivia.:"

Elliot tensed up.

"I just got back from talking with the bomb squad.."

"Bomb squad?" Elliot repeated.

"Yes, apparently the box was a Class A bomb. Only a professional would know how to make it."

Elliot really tensed up. _Why would someone want to kill Liv? _he thought. Olivia looked scared. She had very little color.

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Later that night, Elliot was packing an overnight bag. Kathy was fuming.

"I can't believe you!" she yelled.

"Kath, they sent her a bomb. A BOMB. What do you expect me to do?"

Kathy just shook her head. "I think me and the kids need a vacation. My mother has extra room"

Elliot stared at her. "Is that you answer to everything? Go to your mother's? Why are you doing this and putting the kids through this over nothing?"

"NOTHING?" she yelled. "You spending the night at another woman's apartment, instead of staying with your own blood. How is that nothing?"

"Because I'm not having an affair, which is what your making it out to be. Her life is in danger."

"And why can't someone else stay with her? Why'd you have to volunteer for it?"

"She's my partner. It's my job to protect her."

"She's part of an entire squad, who is more than capable and willing to stay with her." Kathy stormed upstairs.

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Elliot got to Olivia's about 3 hours later. He'd tried to talk Kathy out of leaving, but she insisted on it. Olivia was on the couch watching TV when he got there. The lockbox was sitting on the coffee table.

"Hey, you ok?" she asked.

Elliot took a deep breath. "Kathy's taking the kids up to her mother's again."

Olivia felt bad. "It's because of me isn't it?"

Elliot put his bag down and sat down next to her. "No. It's because of me."

Olivia put her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure everything will work out for the best."

Elliot smiled.

"Oh, by the way, I found another key. This one was hidden behind a picture of you on my nightstand."

"What made you look there?" he asked.

"Uh, I kinda knocked it off and the glass broke. As I was cleaning it up, I found the key lying in the floor."

"Did it work?"

"I haven't tried it. I was waiting for you." She pulled the key out of her pocket. "Ok, here goes." She put the key in and turned. She heard the lock open.

Lifting up the lid, they found an envelop inside. Opening the envelop, there were documents and pictures inside. Elliot looked at the documents. His eyes widened at what he saw. Olivia stumbled into something big. Elliot picked up the phone to call Cragen.....

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**Cliffhanger. Gotta love those.**

**So, what do you think Olivia stumbled into? Who do you think sent Olivia the bomb?**

**If you read, please review.**


	6. Investigating

**AN:**** Chapter Six is DONE. **

**Ok. There are a few things about this chapter I want you to know.**

**1.) We learn what Olivia discovered, which includes a shocking piece of information about her father.**

**2.) Elliot gets to the end of his re-occuring dream. (and I want to know what you guys think it means. ;) Although, I might have mentioned a little of that myself. LOL)**

**3.) This should be the last chapter Kathy is remotely in. **

**4.) Someone from SVU past re-surfaces for good reason at the end of the chapter.**

**Disclaimer:**** Do I look like Dick Wolfe? Nope. Didn't think so.**

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Cragen couldn't believe what he was hearing.

_"They're holding people hostage?"_

"Yes, and using them as test subjects."

_"And when did Olivia come across this?"_

"I don't know, but odds are, the Feds wanted to silence her."

_"Question is, if the Feds are involved, why didn't they kill her?"_

Elliot didn't have an answer. "Let's just be happy they didn't."

_"Definitely."_

"Oh, one other thing. There was a picture of her father in the envelope."

Cragen's eyes widened. Elliot could tell even over the phone. _"He's alive?"_

"I didn't believe it myself at first, but I've seen the picture of him Olivia has. There's no mistaking it."

_"But I thought he committed suicide."_

"Apparently not. The Feds must have covered up his disappearance with a fake death."

_"My God!" _Cragen exclaimed.

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A few days later, the squad was in Elliot's home, going through the documents and pictures and notes Olivia took. She had just been accepted as an intern at the complex under her alter-ego, Rachel Martian.

"This was around the time she asked to take her vacation time." Cragen noted. "I had no idea she was involved in something this deep."

"None of us did." Munch said.

Olivia felt horrible. She knew she could help them more, if she could just remember. She'd gotten better at it, but there were still things that escaped her.

"I wonder how she even discovered this in the first place. I mean, this isn't something you just happen to find." Fin said.

Olivia thought hard. "Let's see. I think I remember an envelop coming to the apartment. I can't remember who it was from though."

"So, somebody sent you the info?" Cragen asked.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure."

Munch thought aloud. "Someone had to know Olivia would investigate, or they wouldn't have sent it to her directly."

"But who would know me well enough to know that?"

"Only us, as far as I know." Fin said

"But none of us have access to files in the FBI database." Elliot said.

"The who in the FBI would send Olivia something like this?" Cragen asked.

---------------------------------

The next few days were spent catching up on paperwork and working the FBI case when they could cram the time. Elliot was working the hardest. He was trying to take his mind off of the fact Kathy took the kids. He started to notice that he really didn't miss Kathy all that much this time. It was the kids he missed. Elliot sat at his desk, practically falling asleep. He laid his head back for a moment......

_.....The masked man came after him. Elliot continued to fire. The bullets just absorbed into his chest. Elliot's gun ran out. He dropped it and began to go after the man head on. He swung at the man. His fist felt like it came in contact with a brick wall. The man returned the favor, sending Elliot strait to the ground. Now the man was hovering over him. He pulled a knife on Elliot. Elliot struggled to keep the man from stabbing him. He had to get to Olivia. Suddenly, Elliot go the knife away from the man. Elliot then placed the knife against the man's throat and pushed it clean through. The man collapsed and Elliot rolled him over on his back. He reached down to pull off the mask. Elliot was shocked and horrified to see his own face staring up at him. As he looked up, he saw Olivia, wearing a key with a heart shaped handle on it....._

Elliot awoke before his alarm went off. He had no idea what these dreams meant, or why it was him blocking himself from getting to Olivia. He remembered the key. He'd never seen one like it in his life, so what significance did it have? Elliot continued to try to analyze his dream as he sat up in his chair. Olivia was sitting across from him.

"You really need to get more sleep."

He just looked at her. Something was different.

A mail carrier came into the precinct and handed Olivia the mail. "See you tomorrow, Detective Benson."

Olivia smiled. "See you tomorrow, Keith."

She flipped through it. There were two things for Elliot, one for the Captain, and a few pieces of junk mail. She handed Elliot his mail and headed to the Captain's office to give him the rest.

Elliot got a letter from Kathy and something from the state. He opened Kathy's letter first.

_"Elliot,_

_I'll be short and to the point. If you haven't received it already, you'll be getting your copy of the final divorce papers in. I never officially stopped the divorce process, so I talked to my lawyer about speeding up the process. It's clear you left this marriage a long time ago. I'll be in touch in regaurd to visitation with the kids._

_Kathy."_

Elliot couldn't believe his eyes. He was a divorced man. He knew what the state had sent him before he even opened it. Sure enough, they were the final divorce papers.

"Are you ok, El?" Olivia asked.

Elliot took a deep breath. "I'm single."

"What?"

"Single. I'm single." he repeated, more to himself than to her.

Olivia looked at him. She noticed that something about him was different. She noticed it a few days ago, but it seemed even more noticeable now.

"How you holden up?" she asked.

Elliot looked at her. "I'm actually doing ok."

For a moment he locked eyes with her. She felt a tingling feeling go down her spine, and she could tell she was blushing.

"Good to hear." she said.

--------------------------

The next morning, Elliot dialed a number he never thought he'd dial again. The phone number of Dani Beck. The Captain suggested calling her and having her use her contacts to find out who tipped Olivia off about the FBI's little secret. Even though they'd had their history, one thing he knew. Dani wasn't a back stabber or traitor. She could be trusted. She agreed to help.

_"Anyone who could hurt someone as wonderful as your Olivia deserves everything that's coming to them."_

Elliot had to smile. Dani referred to her as "his" Olivia.

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**How did you guys like that chapter?**

**Don't worry, Dani has a good and important role to play in a later chapter.**

**Like I said in the AN, this ****should**** be the last we hear from Kathy, but I might need her later. Hopefully not, but still, you never know how a story will develop as you write.**

**Next chapter in progress. You'll find out who sent Olivia the information and something happens that brings Olivia's entire memory back to her. :)**

**If you read, please review.**


	7. Digging Deeper

**AN:**** Ok. Time for a shorter chapter.**

**I want to appologize for taking so long to type this one. I've got strep-throat and I'm in a lot of pain right now. It hurts really bad just to whisper, so I'm not talking a hell of a lot.**

**I had this written about a week ago, but that's around the time I started getting sick. The doctor has me on some pills that will (God willing) help my pain and clear my throat up.**

**Disclaimer:**** Anybody else excited that Benson and Stabler are coming back? I know I am! Oh yeah, btw, not mine. :)**

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It took some time and effort, but Dani managed to discover that a Dana Lewis had tipped Olivia off.

"Star?" Elliot said.

"I guess that's what you know her as." Dani said.

"We're going to have to retrace Olivia's steps and pick up where she left off." Cragen said. "We'll use Dani to infiltrate."

Dani nodded. "Anything I can do to help."

"Why her, Cap?" Fin asked.

"Because whomever identified Olivia probably knows this squad too. Dani's never really been associated with this unit. We'll have a better shot at success with her."

Fin nodded. "Ah. I see. Makes sense."

------------------------------

Olivia decided to go to McDonald's and grab her a small burger. She didn't like fast food most of the time, but today she was craving a hamburger. From the McDonald's, she called Elliot.

"What anything?"

_"Where are you?"_

"McDonald's."

_"Big Mac."_

"Ok. Anything else?"

_"Nah, I'm good."_

"Ok. See you in a minute." She hung up her phone.

After ordering and receiving her food, she exited the McDonald's and began to walked back to the precinct. She had barley started to cross the street when a car sped up and tried to run her down. She dodged, and the car sped out of control and into a light post.

A few minutes later the police were at the scene along with an ambulance. The paramedics were looking Olivia over, while the police were putting the body, of the now dead driver, into a body bag. Elliot ran to Olivia's side, using his badge to get passed the crowd that had formed around the scene.

"Liv? Oh my God, are you ok?"

Olivia was scratched up. "I'm fine. Nothing major."

He stood there. He could have lost her. Out of instinct, he pulled her into a hug. "Thank God you're ok."

In that moment, something happened to Olivia. Something snapped. Suddenly everything came flooding back to her. Receiving the package from Star. Being shocked by the photo of her father, debating on telling her brother, everything. She pulled away from him slowly.

She looked at him and smiled. "Thanks."

------------------------------------

Once she was deemed ok, Olivia returned to the precinct with Elliot. The whole squad was worried.

"I'm fine. A little banged up, but otherwise fine."

"They really have it in for you." Munch said. "See, the government is evil."

"Not all Fed's are evil, Munch. Star is trying to stop them, but she doesn't want to blow her cover. She's spying on them from the inside."

Munch smiled. "That's rare." he said sarcastically.

Olivia ignored him.

Elliot wouldn't leave her side. He was worried that he'd be unable to save her should another attempt on her life be made. They had no idea who the driver of the car was. They ran her fingerprints, but no luck.

"Who knows. She could be one of the dozens who are thought to be dead. We may never know her name." Cragen said.

"Maybe that's a good thing." Fin said. "The family's already greving. No need to re-open wounds."

Munch nodded

-------------------------

It took six months, but they managed to use Dani to infiltrate the complex. She was using the name Amanda Stephens, a computer programer. Luckily, Dani was a wizz with computers. The squad didn't understand why she didn't work with computer crimes.

"We'll have minimal contack with her." Cragen said.

"How long till we can move the prisoners?" Elliot asked.

"Only time will tell." Cragen said.

Olivia looked at the picture of her father and took a deep breath. "This is going to be one hell of a ride." she said.

Everyone agreed. Elliot put his arm around Olivia's waist.

"It'll be ok."

"I sure hope so." she said. The knot in her stomache didn't agree with Elliot.

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**How did you guys like that chapter?**

**Sorry it's so short. But this chapter is what I like to call a transition chapter. One short chapter that sets things up a little more for the following chapter. I'll get to finishing chapter eight as soon as I can. It may be a little longer than planned, but I will get it up.**

**If you read, please review.**


	8. The Turning Point

**AN:**** Ok. I know I said this chapter would take longer than planned, but I had NO idea it would take this long. I'm so sorry about that. Real life comes first and I've been busy and pre-occupied. **

**Now, I wanted to put a little more effort on a certian part of this chapter to try to make it up to you guys for taking so long. As a result, however, I have to upgrade the rating to M. ;)**

**Disclaimer:**** If I owned any of it, this chapter would have already happended.**

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The investigation continued. Every week, Dani would bring them more information that would help them not only expose the FBI, but help them plan on how to raid the complex and save the prisoners. Dani was trying hard to find out who hurt Olivia. She was getting close, but so far Star was the only person Dani was sure knew Olivia. There were a few she wanted to run by Olivia. When Dani gave Olivia the list of names, she reconized one name instantly.

"Dean Porter" Olivia said. "I worked with him when I was undercover while you were filling in for me."

Dani nodded. "Is it possible he's the one who hurt you?"

"It's possible and I wouldn't put it past him."

"Why's that?" Dani asked.

Olivia sighed. "He expressed intrest in me, but I made it clear I wasn't interested. He's been persistant though."

"You think maybe that's why you weren't killed, at least not initially?"

Olivia nodded. "It makes sense." Dani nodded.

"Well I've got to get back before someone discovers I'm corrasponding with the NYPD. No offense." Dani smiled.

Olivia smiled back. "None taken." Dani left the room.

----------------------

Olivia sat alone in the precint. It was dark and most of the people had gone home. She kept thinking about the complex and her father. She didn't know what she was going to say to him once she met him face to face. Elliot walked in. Olivia didn't notice. He walked behind her and to her side.

"You ready to go?" he asked. She jumped.

"Oh God, Elliot! You scared the hell out of me!"

He laughed. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." She smiled. "So are you ready to go? Or do you want to crash here for the night?"

"I want to go home." She got up out of her chair.

"Dani said you reconized Porter from her list." Olivia nodded. "I want to punch the hell out of him."

Olivia smiled. "Don't worry, I do too"

Elliot smiled.

-------------------------------------------

The drive to Olivia's apartment was rather quiet. Elliot kept looking all around the road for any signs of danger. He was damned and determined to protect Olivia, even if it ment his own life. When the reached her apartment, Elliot put his arm around her shoulders and walked behind her, blocking her back as much as he could. He guided her up to her apartment. Once inside he went through her entire apartment searching for bugs, bombs, or any other devices. Once he deemed it clear, he began to relax just a little. Olivia decided to warm up the leftover speghetti from the fridge.

"Hope you like it. It's not the best, but...."

Elliot smiled. "I'm sure it's delicious."

As the ate, they talked about all sorts of things. At one point, something was said about dreams.

"They say dreams are the sub-conscience's way of telling us what we really want." Olivia said. "I wonder if that's true?"

Elliot nodded. "I know it is."

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?" Elliot nodded. "How's that?"

"Well, you see, I've been having this dream where I'm trying desperately to get to someone. Unfortunely, there is a man in my way. I struggle with this man untill I kill him only to discover the man was me." Olivia's eyes widen. "Now, right after I discover this, the person I was trying so despeately to get to walks out wearing a key with a heart-shaped handle. It took me a while, but I figured out what it means."

"What?"

"It means the person holds the key to my heart, and I was too blind to see it untill now. Do you know who that person is?"

Olivia just stared at him.

"It's you, Liv. You were the one I was trying to get to in my dream."

Olivia's eyes got bigger and her mouth opened a little, but no words were coming out. Elliot leaned over and placed a kiss on her lips. She instantly followed through and began to kiss him back. His hands found their way to her waist as he gently pulled her closer to him. Soon her body was pressed against his as he kissed her neck intimately.

She softly moaned as he caressed her breast and nibbled on her ear. It wasn't long before her hands found the buttons on his shirt and she began to unbutton and remove it. Following her lead, Elliot put his hands under her shirt and lifted it over her head, dropping it on the floor.

He then moved the straps of her bra off her shoulder and began to kiss along her collarbone. He then unhooked the hooks in the front and completely removed her bra. Once her breast were in his full view, he cupped them in his hands. He ran his thumbs over her nipples, causing her to bite her lower lip slightly.

Putting his hand on her lower back, he layed her down and began to suck on them. Olivia began to moan with pleasure. Elliot ran his hand down her body and began to unbutton her jeans. As he unzipped them, he slipped his hands inside and began to massage her womanhood. Olivia's moans grew a little louder.

Elliot than switched nipples and slipped his fingers past her underwear and inside of her. Olivia's moans began to become stronger. He sat back and completely removed her jeans and underwear. Then he placed kisses down her body, starting at her chest and ending with his mouth coming in contact with her womanhood.

As he lapped at her, Olivia began to squirm and her moaning became louder. Not lifting his head, Elliot slipped his fingers back inside. As he quickened the pace with both his tounge and fingers, Olivia began to grasp the couch in exstacy. Elliot could feel her tightning. He sped up a little more. Olivia cried out his name as he felt her release.

Elliot removed his mouth and fingers and removed his own jeans and underwear. He then lifted Olivia's legs as he put the end of his hardened member at her entrance. He slowly pushed himself inside of her. She moaned as he slipped inside. He began to move at a slow pace, and then speeding up, Olivia's moans began to grow louder and stronger. He placed his hands on her hips as she wrapped her legs around his.

He quickened his pace again, causing Olivia to start tightning up again. At this pace, Elliot knew he'd come soon. Olivia's moaned his name and he quicked his pace on last time. Olivia's moans turned to wimpers of pleasure as she climaxed again. At the same time, Elliot couldn't hold it back any longer as he came inside of her.

He looked down at her. He had made love to his partner of 10 years. The was no going back from here. Olivia, smiling, looked up at him.

"El, that was incredible!"

Elliot smiled back.

--------------------------------------

A few days later, the squad was sitting in the precint doing paperwork. Cragen's phone rang. After a few minutes, he hung up the phone. He walked into the squadroom.

"It's a go." he said.

"It's time?" Fin asked.

Cragen nodded. Olivia took a deep breath.

"So, how's this thing goin' down?" Fin asked.

Cragen took a few steps forward and sat on the end of a desk.

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**I don't know about you, but I need a cigarette after that chapter. LOL JK.**

**So, what did you guys think? I tried to make the sex scene as good as I could. I had the most fun writing that part. :)**

**Next chaper will be as soon as I can, but I can't promise it'll be really soon. However I will try REALLY hard not to make it too long.**

**If you read, please review.**


	9. The Final Step

**AN:**** OMG. I just realized it's been nine months since I updated this story. I'm SO SORRY. I had this chapter written a long time ago and, for some reason, never got around to typing it up untill now.**

**I had to re-read this chapter for myself to remember exactly what I wrote. How sad is that? LOL.**

**Ok. This chapter is where they infiltrate the complex. I will warn you, there are a few deaths, one I'm sure most won't agree with, one that most probally will, and one that might have a split vote. I kinda did that on purpose. I had planned on killing a certian person, but I knew it would upset alot of people, so to make things fair, I killed the other two, so there would be people at all points of the spectrum. Not to mention, I don't perticularly like one of them. LOL!**

**EDIT: I posted this and realized I forgot to add something. LOL So for those who got multiple email on this, I appologize.**

**So, without further adue.....**

* * *

The detectives were waiting for the signal. Wearing bulletproof vests and armed with their guns, Olivia, Elliot, Munch, and Fin waited in a field just beyond the complex.

"Ok, Munch, Liv, your going left, Elliot, Fin, your going right." Cragen ordered. The squad nodded.

"Now, remember, we have to get as many of the captives as possible before all hell breaks loose."

Again, the squad nodded. Suddenly, Dani appeared at the complex back door. The squad moved forward and Dani silently let them in.

"The security system is down, but it won't last forever." Dani said.

"Ok, guys, let's move."

Munch and Olivia took the left hallway. Elliot stared at her as she disappeared around the corner. He hoped this wouldn't be the last time he'd see her. Fin motioned for him to follow, and Elliot met up with him.

They reached the first door, and, using the keys Dani gave them, unlocked the room and went inside. An elderly woman was asleep on the bed. Elliot approched her and lightly shook her.

"Ma'am" The lady stired. She stared blankly at Elliot.

"So, you my new torturer?" she asked.

Elliot shook his head. "No, we're here to rescue you, but you have to be quiet or the Feds will know we're here."

The woman broke out in a big smile and nodded as she got out of bed and followed Elliot out the door.

They continued down the hall, waking every person. Some were skeptical and others almost blew their cover. As Fin took a group of captives out the back, the security cameras blinked on. The squad knew what was coming next. The alarms started blaring and FBI flooded the hallways.

-----------------

The squad began firing bullets and the fight commenced. A bullet flew past Olivia's head as she rounded a corner. She saw a door that was still locked.

"Munch, over here!'

Munch followed her as she opened the door. As she opened it, her eyes widened. There, in the flesh, was Joesph Hollister, sitting on the bed, trying to figure out what was going on. He looked up at Olivia and his eyes widened.

"Olivia?" he said. "Serena's baby girl?"

Olivia shook slightly. Munch took the opprotunity.

"We're here to get you out of here, Mr. Hollister."

Joe smiled. "Really?" Munch nodded.

Joe got up from the bed. He followed Munch as they past Olivia and went out the door. Olivia followed behind Joe.

Out in the halls, the fighting was heating up. NYPD and FBI bodies were lying everywhere. Olivia struggled to see if Elliot was ok.

----------------

Elliot dodged another bullet and shot two more down the hallway. He was making another prisoner run. As he decended the stairs leading to the back door, he saw Dani lying dead on the stairs. She had been shot in the back of the head. Elliot knelt down as he ordered a fellow officer to escort the prisoners outside. He leaned down and moved hair from her face. He then picked her up and carried her outside.

-------------

On the other side of the building, Olivia and Munch struggled to get Joe and four other prisoners outside. As the neared the stairwell, Dean Porter emerged.

"I should have let them kill you." he said, as he raised his gun.

Munch pulled Olivia behind him as Dean fired a shot. The bullet hit Munch and he fell to the ground. Olivia fired three shots and hit Dean in the head as he fell over dead. She knelt down to check on Munch. His eyes were closed. She checked for a pulse. None. Olivia's eyes filled with tears. He died protecting her. Joe walked over.

"Do you want me to carry him out for you?" he asked.

She looked up at him and reluctently nodded. Joe picked up Munch's body and they all headed to the backdoor.

------------------

It took a while, but they finally got out all the captives they could. Some were injured, and others were killed in the process. The fighting finally stopped, the remaing FBI surrendered. The squad felt shattered. Cragen broke into tears as he saw Joe appearing with Munch's body. Olivia was crying too. Elliot approached her and held her close as the whole squad morned Munch's death.

----------------

**ONE YEAR LATER**

The squad sat in the precint doing their paperwork. The T.V. was on for noise. Suddenly the news caught the squad's attention.

_"One year ago today, the NYPD suffered a tremendous loss when they lost two of there own. Detectives Dani Francine Beck and Johnathan Clifford Munch. The FBI continues to investigate the rouge agents that caused this horrible tradgedy."_

Fin snorted. "Rouge agents my ass." Elliot switched off the T.V.

Joe entered the room. "Hey guys." The squad greeted him. "Olivia, honey, are you ready?"

Olivia smiled. "Yep."

Since his rescue, Joe wanted to get to know his daughter. At first she wanted nothing to do with him, but once he showed her a tape, she slowly changed her mind. On the tape, it showed Joe partying with his co-workers the whole weekend, including the entire night Serena was raped. He had been half-way across town when it happened. He said he loved Serena, but after her rape, she wanted nothing to do with anyone again. So he left. It wasn't untill later that he found out about Olivia.

"I knew you had to have been mine. You looked just like my mother did when she was young."

Now, a year later, she was getting to know him. They had a lot in common.

"Where are we going, Joe?" she asked.

"I thought we'd go to that nice little diner on 21st."

"Sounds great."

Elliot chimed in. "No coffee. It'll effect the baby."

Olivia smiled. "I know, Dear."

Olivia and her father walked out of the precint, as the squad continued to do their paperwork.

* * *

**So? Sorry if it's short. **

**If you read, please review.**


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